My name is Britney and I have with me Greg, a newly converted Slugirl.

First, let's go over the basic features of a Slugirl. Slugirls are about 2 meters long, and always female. If you find a male Slugirl, please report it to the authorities as it's an illegal bootleg. Slugirls have no limbs so they can’t get into much trouble opening doors or cabinets in your house and messing up your things. Depending on the setting Slugirls will have two or more breasts running down their body. Greg here got the full treatment as you can see. Each nipple is just as soft and sensitive as a normal human's, but tougher, so as not to get rubbed raw on carpet, gravel, or cement.

Most Slugirls are silent so they won’t wake you up in the middle of the night, or irritate you with incessant whining. If you get one who can talk please call the number on the back of your Slugirl-O-Matic and a service technician will come right over.

And speaking of their skin, Slugirls are not slimy at all. Their skin is nice, warm and dry, unless, of course, to alter the settings on the Slugirl-O-Matic when converting someone into a Slugirl.

I’ll be talking about the conversion process a little later.

Now Slugirls can eat any food that a human, dog, or cat can. And just like humans, dogs, or cats, a Slugirl needs exercise. Not as much, as they are designed to not gain weight easily. Slugirls can play fetch and many other fun games, however, keep in mind that they are not nearly as fast as a dog or cat, but like a cat they are very clean and easy to look out for. Slugirls can be let loose in a yard with out fencing and if they do get lost, most of them can read a map to find their way home.

They are not too active, unlike some dog breeds, and like to watch television, and because they generally have the mind of a human they are very easy to train (Provided they understand the same language you do).

Being mammals, Slugirls are great at keeping your bed warm on cold nights, and since they have the same DNA as a human you can even get intimate with them if you should so choose.

Many sports are already popping up involving Slugirls: Slugirl Racing, Slugirl Wrestling, as well as Slugirl shows to name just a few.

Any large mammal can be changed into a Slugirl, but its best to stick with humans. While a dog would make an attractive Slugirl it would still have the mind of a dog, and something that drinks out of the toilet does not make a good kisser.

People convert others into Slugirls for many reasons. They may be angry with the person, might have a fetish for armless multi-breasted snake like women, or simply may be bored. Many people even use the Slugirl-O-Matic on themselves to try out something new. Whatever your reason, be sure to follow all the steps listed in your owner’s manual. Both men and women can be converted, but remember not to use a converter on more than one person at a time or them may be merged and you will void your warranty. Also, we pride ourselves in the fact that our Converters will not work on anyone under the age of 18. We have to look out for all those future Slugirl owners out there!

Now before I go, I just want to remind you that Slugirl-O-Matics can be bought at many locations including Walmart, and Slugirls and Slugirl-O-Matic are registered trademarks of BaTco. “BaTco, What Can We Make You?”

Well so long, and remember to hug your Slugirl!

*Depending on the loyalty setting on the Slugirl-O-Matic™.

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